In yesterday’s New York Times, there is an interesting read where Virginia Heffernan, author of the Medium editorial writes a Funeral for a Friend, morning the analog phone. She speaks to how we used to have a set of manors around phone use. The implication is that these days, as we run around with our phones in our pockets, we may have lost site of some of these manors.
I got to thinking – either I have gotten used to ringing sound of the phones located on, well, just about everybody’s person, OR maybe we have a new, common set of cell phone manners. It seems to me that people are using their cell phones more than ever, but they are interrupting less than ever. In fact, I recently received an odd look from someone when my phone ‘binged’ at me noting a received text. In my job I spend time with large numbers of cell phone using, hyper-connected youth. Even when cell phones are allowed to be ‘active’, I rarely hear a ring. Sure, there is an occasional low beep, or hum of the vibrating notification … but very rare is the ‘Bring Bring’. (This loud bring is typically followed by ‘looks’ from the crowd, the kind one gets when they have have committed an egregious breach of social norms.)
Funny thing is, I don’t remember receiving the memo on the new ‘norms’ around cell phone ringers. Maybe, in this hyper-connected world, with this new hyper connected generation, they have set up their own expectations. Nobody likes to be interrupted – it seems that remains true even today.
Towards the end, Mrs. Heffernam speaks to the intimacy of the analog phone call, and in turn, the intimacy of the new connectedness that dominates today. She is right, I like to be connected and get annoyed when my wife does not take her phone with her. When I’m working long days, or even just away to the store, a quick text from her goes a long way to feeling like we are still connected-connecting. I’m sure that I will be one of thoose parents with a cell phone toting child in the near future, especially as she gets more independent and engaged in activities that do not involve her poarents. Technology can facilitate a certain level on intimacy in a busy world, and I plan on leveraging this to remain connected. I think of a coworker who frequently sends & receives messages from his daughter in her 20′s. I’m sure that if you asked him, he would speak to the connectedness that Mrs. Heffernan refers to.
The flip side, however, is learning that the device needs to go away. There are times when I feel like a Pavlovian technology user who’s thumb starts to twitch at the sound of a bing. In our hyper-connected, cellphone device toting society, the greater lesson my be in the disconnecting. Maybe we need to remember some of their old school manners, and just ‘spend time’ without our digital connections in order to enjoy our analog connections…
